


no stars, no moon, i'm always in this twilight

by electrosad



Series: ghcu (gay hlvrai cinematic universe) [1]
Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: and this is your problem now, but its mostly, frenrey, he/theyrey, i have a lot of thoughts on benrey and gordon talking out their feelings, tommy is their emotional support friend who knows what a "common sense" is, you could also read this as frenreylatta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrosad/pseuds/electrosad
Summary: Benrey and Gordon have a lot of feelings about the batshit craziness that was the resonance cascade. Unfortunately, they are both very stupid when it comes to what we like to call talking out your emotions
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman
Series: ghcu (gay hlvrai cinematic universe) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165802
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Benrey realized he had really fucked up. Super bad. He should’ve seen it coming, really, but nothing had hit him until he was in xen and it was too late. 

Considering how it was then, he was doing fairly okay. He wasn’t dead, Gordon wasn’t dead, and he lived with his best bro Tommy. Still, he had fucked up so very very bad, and he knew that. Because he lived with his best bro Tommy, and Tommy’s other best bro was Gordon, he had to see him. Not that he didn’t want to see him. He was funny. That’s why he’d never left him alone. Gordon was super funny, and Benrey was under the impression Gordon thought he was funny. Was, keyword. He’d thought that until about the final battle.

They were very excited to see him for the first time again. Tommy had mutually warned Benrey and Gordon that the other would be in the room. Benrey expected for Gordon to be as excited as he was, or, if not excited, ready to gloat. He’d won the game and all. Benrey was the one who died. If Benrey hadn't been the final boss he would've thought it was very epic. 

...But, to their suprise, Gordon was afraid of him. He tried not to be obvious about it, but Benrey noticed. He never looked at them too long, kept their responses short and basically only paid attention to Tommy, the whole song and dance. After a while, he slinked off to his room. This wasn't like the game where Gordon would laugh if he said something completely stupid. He just stared. 

Benrey shut off his switch and started swiveling around the joysticks. He couldn’t focus anyways. Pietro animal crossing would have to wait until he had his old average rate of one thought an hour.

“Is- is something wrong, Benrey?” Tommy looked up from wrestling Sunkist’s toy from her.

“Nah man...just. Taking in the scene-ah-rey of this room. In the reflection.”

“You mean the scenery of the house you’ve lived in for three- three months?”

Benrey made a pop noise. “Yep.” 

Tommy frowned. “...Is it because- Is it something about Mr. Freeman?”

“A lil bit. He won the game and he’s afraid of me. He killed me and he’s afraid of me...it’s like. ‘S super stupid.” 

Benrey tossed the switch to the other side of the couch. “I don’t get it. He laughs at my jokes and I think we’re bros and then you tell me he was scared of me half the time.”

“Benrey.” Tommy’s voice had a slight disapproving tone. “You tried to- to kill him. His- you cut off his hand! I know you didn’t know how serious it was then, but he doesn’t. It wasn’t a game to him like it was to you. It’s weird to hurt him then be friendly- he’s probably scared. You should apologize.”

“He shoulda thought about that before he made me be bad.” They flipped their switch back on, ready to ignore the slightest bit of logic like usual.

Tommy sighed as Sunkist propped her head on his knee. Like herding cats into a barn.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iam so sorrey all of my chapters are short that's juste how my brain works babey

Gordon was, quite simply, having a horrible night. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t calm down, couldn’t function. His brain was like a broken record, just racing through the same thoughts. A few days had passed, and he still hadn’t returned to normal.  
Benrey couldn’t hurt him. Wouldn’t, as assured by Tommy.

It wasn’t entirely Benrey’s fault if he was being honest. It was the final straw on the tired and exasperated theoretical physicist’s back. He wasn’t afraid of Benrey, it was nearly impossible to be afraid of him as he was. They were in an oversized pullover, with fluffy hair that still cast an impossibly dark shadow over their face and fuzzy xbox socks. And they couldn’t have been over 5’5. He was very nonthreatening, actually.

It was more of just...him being there. This was his life now. Buddy-buddy with the eldritch god that had tried to kill him.

He’d gotten better at dealing with...the whole situation. He wasn’t used to the prosthetic hand, or the nightmares, or having people around for once, but he thought seeing Benrey wouldn’t hurt. Truth be told, he did like Benrey, sort of. He just couldn’t understand him. Joking around with him one second and then the next he had to fight for his life with him. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Not an apology, no nothing.

He wasn’t even sure he could handle an apology. He’d planned it out in his head fifty times. Part of him wanted to take it casually, another to be angry as hell, another wanted to just break down and cry. And it didn’t even happen.

And he’d still ruined his visit to Tommy’s thinking about it the entire time. And he’d probably ruin his visit tomorrow-...tomorrow. He could not deal with that tomorrow. He picked at the skin on his lip for a second. He had to cancel.

He picked up his phone and dialed Tommy. It rang for what felt like a long time. _just pick up, please._

“Gordon?”

“Hey- hey Tommy. I- I’m gonna have to cancel for tomorrow.” His other hand nervously gripped his sheet. _Please don’t be mad._

 _ _“__ Oh, that’s- that’s fine Mr. Freeman.” His voice lowered. “Is it because of- of Benrey?”

“...Yeah. He didn’t even do anything, I just- I just saw him and-”

“Hey, Gordon. Breathe- breathe for me, okay? You don’t need to explain anything. Next time you want to see me we can go out somewhere.”

“Okay. Okay. God, thanks, Tommy. We can… We can do something together. In a few days.”

“That sounds- sounds good, Mr- Gordon. I hope you feel better. Goodbye.”

“Bye, tommy.”

He flopped back on his bed. As much as he wanted to sleep the rest of the day, he had things to do. Namely, pick up horses Joshua had left all over the floor a few days ago before going to his other parent’s.

Benrey slunk back into his room, trying very hard not to be heard by Tommy. It wasn’t like he’d done anything wrong. He didn’t mean to snoop on his talk or anything. He just had good ears, and Tommy should have remembered that in his opinion.

Gordon was afraid of him. _Afraid_. He didn’t get it. There was so much...sadness in Gordon’s voice. It made them feel sick to their stomach.  
He chewed on the inside of his cheek. Maybe Tommy had a little bit of a point. He still didn’t think he owed Gordon an apology, but maybe a lil talking to. Gordon probably wanted to talk to him a total of “none,” but Benrey was at least ten percent sure he could totally pull a serious conversation off. It’d be just like old times. But with less of him getting shot in the face.


End file.
